At last, dinner parties in Japan are looking like dinner parties

“I’m having a dinner party this weekend. One of the guests just cancelled, would you like to join us?”

How would you respond to such an invitation? It depends on the person, but some people may be offended to be invited to dinner at such short notice. Also, only because someone cancelled.

Dinner parties are quite common in Australia, and we usually see it as a chance to catch up with people, enjoy nice food, and relax and chat. A relaxing dinner party is an enjoyable dinner party. Of course, the dinner setting is quite formal and the food is nice, sometimes really nice. However, the most important thing is for people to enjoy themselves; to have a good time - even if the invitation to dinner was only given a day or two before.

I live in Japan, and I still try to hold dinner parties the Australian way. Things are changing, but when I first came to Japan it was quite difficult to hold an enjoyable dinner party.

When I lived in Nagano, people would arrive before the appointed time, they’d bring gifts and they’d be dressed very nicely! Then, after opening the gifts and making people comfortable, I’d go back to the kitchen and continue cooking while the Japanese people made polite conversation with each other in the living room - and ignoring me.

When dinner was finally served, they’d say how wonderful the food looked, eat quietly and only drink when I offered to fill their glass. There was very little laughter, lots of nice compliments about the (plain) food and… exactly two hours after arriving, when they’d finished eating - they would thank me for inviting them and go home. They weren’t the good old days for dinner parties.

Let's fast forward to 2016. I had a dinner party two weeks ago. It was to start at six o’clock and since my kitchen is in the living area, I could talk to my guests while cooking if they arrived, as expected - earlier than six. 

Well, the Takamatsu family finally arrived at 6:30! The food was getting cold and I had to call them - luckily they live in the same building. When they arrived, there were no gifts, just some alcohol. Great! Then, Megumi spent her time in the kitchen talking to Reiko and me and offering to help with the cooking. Her husband, Masanori was in the living room enjoying a beer with the Kameda family. A few days before, I had invited the Kamedas on the third floor. Nobody used a glass, everyone drank straight from the bottle!

At last, dinner parties in Japan are now starting to look like dinner parties I enjoy! However, I still have to wash the dishes by myself. In Australia, that’s a drinking activity…